51st Week of the Year 2019.
I am writing this on Friday the 49th week of 2020. I’m also planning on catching up on all the whole week year.
Woah! I am terrified writing these words. I’ll try.
Going through photos, I learn a lot. Amazing what a tiny hobby can bring you. I strongly encourage everyone to have one. One that involves a form of art, whatever that may be to you. Writing this now, which was not the original idea, makes me wonder what art really is. Personally, something I never understood. Being rather left-brained, I never considered myself to have the creative spark. Want to draw a blank in my head? This is how you do it.
Imagine walking in the fields, following the pathway to avoid stepping over any of the wheat crops. You stop, and look around. You notice the field, the vast expanse of it. You wonder what it feels like being on the other side of the pathway. What would happen if you stepped in there? You don’t know if you could get hurt, you don’t know what’s in there. You see the stems and leaves but also something spiky at the top. You have a superficial sense of what’s above the ground but you have no idea if it is on the same level or not, whether there are animals, rats, snakes, or maybe mud. You look at it and you feel grounded, lock in place. You breathe. You look up to the sky and notice how beautiful it is. Just as beautiful as everywhere around you and yet you feel there is something more. That’s when you notice that everything is illuminated with the same beautiful light coming from the sun in the distant sky above the mysterious fields.
This isn’t what I would call a good frame nor one I would normally share. The story of it all is why I chose to haha 😄And probably because when I look at it closely, the family’s facial expressions always leave me staring in wonder with a smile, particularly the little boy.
You see I felt frustrated at what it could have been but isn’t. Something, as much as I struggle with it, I do not control. “Frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of an individual's will or goal and is likely to increase when a will or goal is denied or blocked” (Thanks Wiki 😉). Me? Same same. I was too focused on the ideal photo I should have captured. I saw only the faults in them, the wrong composition, the out of focus subject, the setting…just argh! *points-gun-to-head-and-bam!* Am I wired this way? Hell knows. I shared this photo, accepted it was a failed shot and learned that some pictures can make me feel like that. And the sooner I realize that, the sooner I can see it for what it is and do something. The faster I can go from feeling like shit for not capturing the ideal shot to constructively self-criticizing, the sooner I can try again. Making the ideal mistake. Ridiculous? Maybe. I went back to this photo so many times even though I always set it as “rejected” in my catalogue.
How can something so flawed and so imperfect be anything good right? Haha
Just like that? The glass half empty is now half full. Being strict with ourselves to strive for something is great! But self-imposed standards should not be so strict as to become barriers and miss on the-not-so-obvious thing. Shot on 5/18/19, and last wrote about it in February.
Here’s the raw image.
